Trillion Dollar Slapstick

Trillion Dollar Slapstick


September 11, 2017

by Feanor Lambrecht

I am close to death. For the past twenty-seven minutes I have been laughing as hard as humanly possible at the richest, most powerful people in business. My sides are more than split – I am about to lose all ability to draw breath from the sheer exhaustion. As my field of vision starts to narrow and blackness usurp my consciousness, I am typing up a catalog of the sensations before tripping into the eternal.

You know, for science.

My current predicament was triggered by the news that Hollywood is having one of its worst years on record. For us here in the States, Hollywood’s failure is merely a repeat performance of NFL’s weak-kneed 2016. Those maggots thought it would good business to rub their asses with our flag and then point and laugh at our disgust.

But the laughter did not start until I got wind that a key reason Hollywood is unable to break even this year is because their plan to capitalize on China’s movie market is starting to falter.

No kidding.

It was Nixon who opened up China, but it was Bush Sr. who thought that pushing capitalistic endeavors in the People’s Republic would provide the necessary social leverage to push the country into a more democratic phase. We have those two elder Deep Staters to thank for the destruction of Hollywood and the draining of millions from corporate coffers in the intervening years.

I am not in charge of any kind of company, but no matter how much I have to burn I would never invest it in China. Why? For starters, they murder and imprison Christians. They also force women to have abortions – a brutal punishment that violates mother and child alike.

Oh, and they are communist.

Even a businessman of the lowest order of greed and utilitarianism should be able to figure out that, under communist principles, there is no capital or private property except what the government allows – which is another way of saying what’s yours is yours until the government says it belongs to Chairman Mao.

Both Google and Apple, two tech companies touted as “smart” by slack-jawed Colbert viewers, are learning this obvious lesson the hard way. Google lost its dot cn domain when it refused to cooperate with China’s style of internet policing. Apple is constantly being bent over by Beijing regulators to remove all sorts of content and apps deemed offensive to Mandarin snowflakes.

For Hollywood, the challenges are two-fold: movies must appeal to viewers who come from a completely different cultural milieu, and they must curry favor with those same tyrant censors.

The consequences for non-compliance are severe. No one “owns” a company in China and the government has no qualms about seizing anything on the slightest pretense. And then sell it. Online.

It turns out all the “smart” people at the top of the food chain are no brighter than your average lemming. The dullards can’t seem to see the problem. And we cannot stop laughing at the trillion dollar slapstick as they fall again and again. Should we tell them?

Communism ain’t capitalism.

But why ruin the fun?

“To be smart enough to get all that money you must be dull enough to want it.” – G.K. Chesterton on rich men


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